December 4

When External Appearences Are False


This video resonated with me on a deep level as when I  was struggling with panic disorder and felt the crushing lows of being a victim and not having a voice or tools to fight back, I felt like I was trapped inside a box, it was pitch black and was locked. There was no exit in sight, only a feeling of wanting out at any cost and not knowing where to turn, this desperation and frustration flooded my mind with thoughts of suicide as without self-management tools or hope it was the only way to alleviate the darkness of my situation and stop living like this.

To the outside world I was popular, played sports, did well in school, I was an overall happy person. When it came to anxiety, it was a stark contrast, as I carried the heavy burden, that felt like an anchor on my back, feelings of shame, fear, and hopelessness. This came from living with daily anxiety and how it felt like my mind was attacking me. The feelings of betrayal and confusion were overwhelming, how could my mind, what should be my greatest asset be turning against me and causing me this pain? This led to a frustrating and long 15 years of suffering until I opened myself to finding the information and assistance I badly needed. I had a lot of anger for not seeking assistance earlier, it has since been channelled into my work as makes me very appreciative of where I am today and pushes this project to let others know they are not alone and options are available.

This young man is an inspiration for his bravery and I hope more people begin communicating their challenge to reduce the feelings of isolation.

I want to hug him through the screen and reassure him, it will get better. The more we discuss what’s really going on, the more people will feel comfortable seeking the information and assistance they need. This is more than a sentimental video, it is potentially lifesaving.



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