August 26

What To Do When People Are Offended…


People get offended so easily nowadays.

With that in mind, it’s no wonder we’re so afraid to put ourselves out there anymore.

If you want to put yourself out there on video or on stage, but you’re afraid of possibly offending people and dealing with all the backlash… if that’s stopping you or holding you back from sharing your message, today’s post is exactly what you need to hear.

You’ll Always Hold Yourself Back If You’re Afraid

Just recently, I was mentoring a group of entrepreneurs as part of a mastermind, and this question comes up:

Lucas, I want to put myself on video, but I’m afraid of offending people. What do I do?

Now, in today’s world, I think it’s very dangerous. Because you could possibly offend anybody, even if you don’t originally intend to.

But what happens is you’re operating from a place of fear.

Even before you hit record on that video, even before you step on that stage, you’re already coming up with these thoughts going, “I don’t want to offend people.

And the problem with that is when you’re speaking to bigger audiences, let’s say it’s 30 people, 50 people, 100, 200, 500, you have no idea of knowing:

  • if people agree with you
  • if they don’t agree with you
  • if they’re offended
  • or if they align with what you’re saying

And as a result, you either avoid all these speaking opportunities, or you show up as a highly-filtered version of yourself.

And that’s the quickest and surest way to lose alignment with yourself in the process. It’s where you’ll hold your power back because you’re living from a place of fear.

You Have To Risk Offending Others

In order to live from a place of power, you have to risk offending others.

Something that I say is, “If you don’t go too far, you will never go far enough.

If you don’t go too far, you will never go far enough.
– Lucas Mattiello

As long as you’re coming from an authentic place, it’s totally okay (and necessary) to keep asking yourself “How can I continue pushing the envelope?

Because it’s only by polarizing that you can monetize.

And when I look at it, it all comes back to intentionality.

Are you saying things to purposely offend people? If you’re doing that, I would suggest avoiding that.

On the other hand, if you’re speaking your truth where some people may disagree, then you’re on the right track.

There’s a subtle, but huge difference between the two, and one of the first internal shifts you need to make is to re-frame it as

people simply disagreeing with you

instead of

you offending people

It’s not your fault when people react the way they do. Most of the time, when people get ‘offended’ or ‘triggered’, it’s as a result of their own issues. Not you.

Remember, communication is a 2-way channel. You can try your best to communicate something, but there’s always room for misinterpretation on the receiving end.

It’s Okay For People To Disagree

We’re all different humans.

We all have completely different backgrounds – I don’t know your background, and you don’t know mine. We are on completely different journeys, and so disagreements are natural.

They’re expected, and that’s where people need to shift their mindset around, as it isn’t always a personal attack. It isn’t always people being offended. Sometimes, it’s just a disagreement of opinions.

There’s an infinite number of ways to accomplish any goal, and it’s about coming back to yourself, going, “What is true for me?

When you come from that place, knowing that you are speaking your truth, and you’re doing it from a place of service, then it doesn’t matter if people don’t agree with you. It’s okay. You can respect it. 

And even today, like everyone talks about haters, going “fuck the haters” with all this anger – I can’t help but wonder “Why are we even putting out that negative energy? It’s just people that don’t agree with your message. They don’t agree with your point of view. That’s cool. Keep moving forward. And focus on attracting your tribe.”

Stop Censoring Yourself & Share Your Message.

You will never have any certainty that nobody will be offended.

I guarantee you – in today’s world, people WILL disagree with you. Even if you’re trying your hardest not to offend anybody.

So you might as well live true yourself and speak your truth.

Because when you’re coming from that place, you connect better with your tribe.

Because when you’re censoring yourself, you’re actually rejecting yourself – and that’s not what you got into business to do.

So step into your power, speak your truth, and know that some people are going to agree with you, and some people won’t.

And it’s all good. Because at the end of the day, you’re being true to yourself and that’s all that matters.

Lucas Mattiello
Level Up Living

P.S. If you’d like the fast path to speak with confidence, here are 3 ways I can help you:

  1. Grab a free copy of my ‘6 Steps To Speak With Confidence’ guide
    It’s the 6-step process I use to take clients from anxious on stage to rock-solid confidence — Click Here
  2. Join the ‘Art Of Confident Speaking’ and connect with leaders who are improving too
    It’s our new Facebook community where smart leaders learn to level up their insight, impact and influence — Click Here
  3. Join my 3-day ‘Speak With Confidence Program’ and become a Case Study
    It’s the fastest way to become a confident communicator… If you’d like to work with me and a small group of highly motivated leaders like yourself — Click Here


Offending People, Share Your Truth, speak with confidence

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