You wouldn’t overly monitor your grammatical errors talking with your friends.
You wouldn’t overly ensure what you say is perfectly composed and structured when you’re with your close friends and family.
So why would you do that when public speaking in front of a crowd?
It just doesn’t make sense.
Have you ever taken a public speaking class, learned a whole bunch of tips and techniques, only to then find yourself speaking like a robot 5 minutes later because you’re trying to cram every technique you just learnt into your presentation?
I’ve been there.
The Day Public Speaking Changed My Life
The day public speaking changed my life was the day I noticed that there’s way too much emphasis on the technical side in public speaking training.
It was 5 years ago at one of my first talks ever.
My buddy Matt Astifan was hosting an event called Internet Masterminds with about 30 people in the audience.
I plug in my MacBook with my carefully prepared PowerPoint slides and it’s not syncing. After a couple of minutes fiddling with the tech, it finally works. But the sizing is off. It won’t go into fullscreen mode.
I’m standing there sweating bullets for the next hour as I present to the crowd with my slides in review mode. Needless to say, I was a mess. I had the impression I needed to keep up the perception that I was a top public speaking expert who had zero weaknesses.
And whilst the audience paid attention to me, from my point of view, I suspected they were just sympathizing and felt bad for me.
I chat to Matt afterward and he tells me this – “I think we’re positioning you wrong. You’re not some inaccessible public speaking god on a pedestal. You’re a real guy with real fears going up to speak, and that’s exactly the message you want to share. You’re the kind of guy that lives up to what he preaches.”
The very next night, I speak at my business coach Iman’s event called Vancouver Business Network. It had a crowd of 70 people and I absolutely crushed it.
How? I went in and just owned who I was.
I told the crowd “Hey I still struggled with a lot of panic and anxiety attacks, and the fact that I’m up here speaking in front of you means you can too. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m on the path and I put myself out there.”
I had nothing to hide.
I barely referred to the PowerPoint slides, the crowd resonated a lot more with my message, and as a result, I felt a deeper connection with them.
But here’s the thing – that’s what I felt.
Even though I felt a deeper connection with the audience, the audience didn’t necessarily feel connected with me.
One of the criticisms I received at the end of the event was “He looked a bit too polished as a presenter. I think if he wasn’t as polished his message would be more effective.”
Which was quite surprising, because I wasn’t even trying to be polished – I simply spoke from the heart.
That’s when I realized, I’d reached a stage where I’d been practicing so much on the technical side of things, that I’d dampened my ability to express human connection.
And that needed to change. Pronto.
Less Technical. More Emotional.
You see, a lot of public speaking programs such as Toastmasters teach you to have a very concise beginning, middle, and end. You’re taught to perfectly package your message so that it hits the audience’s logical mind and makes sense.
But the problem is as humans, we’re attracted to story and emotions.
See, what makes your message impactful and meaningful has very little to do with WHAT you say, and more to do with HOW you say it.
Maybe you’ve been there before.
Maybe you’ve seen a speaker at a seminar where you walked out afterward not remembering exactly what they said.
But you remember how you felt – you remember being captivated by their emotion and energy.
The reason for this is because of their radiating authenticity.
Because when we look at the most authentic speakers, they’re not planning out every single word.
Instead, they’re rooted in themselves. They’re grounded. They’re calm. And that’s what gives them the ability to transfer emotion to their audience.
3 Components To Become A More Authentic Communicator
So how do you make this switch?
How can you become a more effective speaker where you’re completely in the present moment channeling what happens and flows from you as you speaking?
Well, there are three key components to become a more authentic communicator, and I’ll be sharing those with you today:
Step 1: Write Down What Matters Most
The first thing to do is to write down what matters most.
Make a list:
- What matters most in your life?
- What’s a high value for you?
- What’s a central theme for you?
When you have these written down, what it allows you to do is to allow yourself to know where you’re coming from every time you share your message – be it video or on a stage.
When you come from that place, you’re coming from an aligned place, and that allows for your message to be more authentic and to resonate with your clients.
I suggest carrying this list with you and reading from it every time you’re about to jump on stage to deliver a presentation.
Step 2: Stop Caring
The second step is to stop caring.
When I look at my clients – from those starting out in board room meetings, all the way up to TedX speakers in front of thousands of people in the audience – this is a central theme.
The moment we disconnect from caring about what other people think is the moment we say yes to ourselves.
The moment you stop caring is the moment you start giving yourself permission to share your message authentically.
And what you’ll find is you’ll start sharing the things that YOU want to share instead of what everyone else expects of you.
Step 3: Embrace Polarity
Once you have the things that matter to you and you’ve stopped caring about what other people think, the third step is to embrace polarity.
As you share your message, some people are going to like it, and some people aren’t going to like it.
And that’s going to happen, regardless of what your intention is.
So you might as well come from a place of authenticity – where you care about your audience, and you simply deliver a message you believe in.
By doing so, you gain the power of authenticity, because you’re not trying to win the entire audience over.
And as a consequence, you start bringing in your ideal clients because they’re the ones who are going to connect with you and your message the most.
To stand out from the crowd, you must be different, and that means risking rejection by people who don’t resonate with your message.
A great mantra to keep this in mind is “you must polarize to monetize”.
Authenticity Is Key To Speaking Confidence
Once you do the three steps listed above, you’ll find your confidence SURGING.
You’ll leave behind a lot of fears, the hesitations, and insecurities that hold people back, and you’ll enter a new realm of freedom.
The freedom to be yourself, fully express yourself, and to seize opportunities.
Instead of regrets, you’re building successes.
And I look forward to seeing you get there my friend.
Keep being the awesome person you are.
Level Up Living
P.S. Would you like to truly connect with your clients at a deeper level?
If you’ve ever had the experience of prospects or clients not taking your advice to heart or not taking you seriously as a whole, chances are you’re boring them with straight facts and logic.
In order to get them to take action, you must engage their emotional brain.
And the best way to do that is to Speak With Confidence – where you’re coming from a truly authentic and fully expressed place.
If that’s something you’d like to develop, I’d like to invite you to apply for my Speak With Confidence program. Just fill out the application form below and either myself or my team will get in touch with you.