You have a decision to make.
Either you allow your fears to hold you back and accept that scenario fully, or, you allow yourself to say, “No, I’m going to have the courage to push past my fears and live the life of my dreams.“
This is a decision a recent client of mine had to make.
Are You Hiding From Your True Potential?
I had a call with a new client a couple of days ago.
She’s in her forties, very good at what she does, and very heart-centered. She has a lot of value to add and has a great track record of getting clients results.
But there’s a problem – She feels that she’s hiding, and not putting herself out there. She’s not seizing speaking opportunities and playing the game to the level that she could.
In other words, she doesn’t feel that she’s living up to her true potential.
This brings her a lot of resentment because she knows deep down that what she can do is really impactful, but her fears are winning.
I want to share with you some of the game plans that we’ve been putting into place for her moving forward because chances are, you could get a little value from this. Because chances are, deep down you know that you’re here on this planet to share your message and play a bigger game, but like this client of mine, sometimes the fears just come up.
First things first – know that you’re not alone.
Most people are like that. They know they can do more, but it seems like a hopeless battle against fear.
The good news is there are ways to overcome that. That’s what I’ll be sharing with you today.
2 BIG THINGS That Stop You From Achieving Your True Potential
So this woman – she’s invested tens of thousands of dollars in her education and training. Decades of her life committed to her craft.
But what’s been happening is she’s been hiding. She’s playing a bit behind the scenes.
She’s not really stepping up and into the spotlight. She does a bit of blogging, which is great, but the part that’s really letting her down is she’s behind the scenes — literally helping all these other business owners build million dollar businesses, but she’s not doing it for herself.
“Why would she do that?”, you might wonder.
Let’s break it down.
BIG THING #1 – What If I Get Attacked?
The first one is, “What if I’m giving a presentation and I get attacked?”
Basically, it’s where you get up on stage, and as you’re speaking, somebody completely disagrees with you starts verbally start attacking you, saying you’re wrong and trying to discredit you.
This is a very common fear (reminder: you’re not alone!)
One perspective you can take in this situation is you are merely speaking your truth.
And so is the person in the audience who is trying to discredit you – they have a completely different life than you. They’ve come from completely different background experiences, they’ve got different filters to the world, and different people they hang around with. To them, they’re just sharing their point of view and that’s absolutely correct (for them).
Now, does that make you wrong?
No. Because when you come from sharing your truth, you’re speaking from your experiences and your background.
Thus, your point of view is correct (to you).
No one is wrong. It’s just a difference in opinion.
A lot of times in today’s world, we fear so much about having a difference in opinions and conflict. But the truth is, conflict is natural. People that are going to disagree all the time, no matter what.
And as a person that’s stepping up to share your message with confidence, you have to embrace that as a fact. You have to embrace the fact that you want to polarize.
You actually want some people to not agree with you. Because here’s the thing – in order to attract your ideal clients, you have to risk turning off a certain amount of people.
That’s the shift that happens when you embrace and you’re like, “Yeah, I want to speak my truth and I know that some people are going to go “Nope, not for me” and other people go, “Yes! That’s exactly what I needed to hear!”
That’s the first way to overcome this fear of being attacked.
Related Article: If you’d like to learn more about polarizing your audience in order to attract your ideal clients, check out my article on How To Deal With Haters here.
BIG THING #2 – What If I’m Misunderstood?
The second big thing is “what if I’m misunderstood?”
Here’s the thing – you WILL be misunderstood.
People are going to hear things from their own filters, and they’re going to get triggered and riled up because of an infinite number of different factors.
Again, it’s not your responsibility. Just focus on speaking your truth.
The other day I was at the Super Bowl actually watching it with my cousins and one of my cousins turns around and starts this conversation:
MY COUSIN: “You’re an idiot. I saw that video you put up about the saying that you don’t care what people think, and when someone says they don’t care what people think, that means that they really do.”
ME: “Okay, well why would you say that?”
MY COUSIN: “Well, because I don’t care what anyone thinks. And that’s true.”
ME: “Sure, but the video was saying that if people are constantly going out there saying that they don’t care what people think, then it’s a defense mechanism. They want to tell people that it’s a different way and that’s not necessarily the case.”
MY COUSIN (starting to contemplate): “Well, if I keep telling people that I don’t care if people think, maybe I do care what people think…“
This is just one example to highlight a situation of misunderstanding.
All you have to do is sit there, get into it, and have a discussion with them.
Again, it’s not about being attacked. It’s about connection – identifying where the gaps are in communication and figuring out how you can move forward from that with the other person.
The Key Decision You Must Make
Anyways, back to this new client I mentioned at the start of this post.
Here’s how our interaction went right before she made the key decision that allowed her to start living up to her true potential again:
ME: “What do you feel? What’s your potential? If you had 10 times the speaking confidence that you have right now, what would be different?”
HER: “Oh, I’d be sharing my message in a big way. I’d be inspiring thousands of people. I’d be living the life that I dreamed of. I’d be making the money that I deserved. I’d be making the impact that I was put on this planet to make.”
ME: “Great, that sounds amazing. What’s the decision we now have to make?“
HER: “Well, the decision is… because I’ve had these fears for decades, these fears about putting myself out there, the fear of being attacked, the fear of being the center of attention, the fear of success.
I need to make a decision. Either:
- I fully embrace that my fears are going to win and I completely accept them and say, you know what, I’m going to play small. I’m going to play behind the scenes and I have to fully accept it, because otherwise that resentment’s going to keep building.
- I have to decide to say I am not going to let my fears hold me back anymore and I’m going to take courage and step right through them.”
This is a decision you’re going to have to make as well.
You can embrace the fact and accepting it completely going, “The fears are going to win, and I’m going to play second fiddle, play small and play behind the scenes“.
There’s nothing wrong with this choice by the way. Not everybody has to be the number one. Some people can be the number two, and if that’s you and that’s feels authentic to you, do that.
But more likely than not, there’s another part of you deep down that knows you have the potential to play a much bigger game; to make a bigger impact in the world.
It’s not about confidence.
It’s about having the courage to take action in the face of uncertainty. To start putting your message out on videos. To start saying YES to speaking opportunities.
Even if you don’t feel you’re ready right now, start doing it.
Because you’re building a muscle. Public speaking is a skill and like any skill, it can be developed, harnessed, and improved with time.
What’s Your Decision?
So there you have it. That’s the decision you need to make for yourself.
Are you going to allow fears to hold you back? If so, accept it completely and embrace it.
Or say, “Nope,” harness that courage and start taking action to achieve your dreams.
Level Up Living
P.S. If you’ve decided you want to live to your true potential and you’d like the fast path to get there, here are 3 ways I can help you speak with confidence:
1. Grab a free copy of my ‘6 Steps To Speak With Confidence’ guide
It’s the 6-step process I use to take clients from anxious on stage to rock-solid confidence — Click Here
2. Join the ‘Art Of Confident Speaking’ and connect with leaders who are improving too
It’s our new Facebook community where smart leaders learn to level up their insight, impact, and influence — Click Here
3. Join my 3-day ‘Speak With Confidence Program’ and become a Case Study
It’s the fastest way to become a confident communicator… If you’d like to work with me and a small group of highly motivated leaders like yourself — Click Here