You have big dreams. You have big aspirations.
You look at the great speakers that exist out there – maybe you have a TED speaker or Toastmasters champion you really look up to.
You wish you could be like them. Living their life, expressing yourself fully on stage to a large audience of eager listeners.
“If only I had that confidence”, you think to yourself.
So you join a few public speaking Meetup groups. Maybe even enrol in a public speaking course.
At this point, you have a very important decision to make.
And it’s this decision that will make all the difference with regard to whether you skyrocket your public speaking confidence or kill off any chance that you’ll ever become your most confident self.
What’s that decision?
Choosing between progress or perfection.
Progress VS Perfection
What often happens, people get caught up in perfection. They say to themselves:
- I’ll put myself out when I’m ready
- I’ll put myself when I look good
- I’ll put myself out when I know that it’s going to go flawless
- I’ll put myself out when I’ve memorized my content
- I’ll put myself out when I have it all planned out
- I’ll put myself out when I’ve rehearsed countless times for tens, maybe even hundreds of hours
But guess what? You’re avoiding the actions that will build you up.
In my experience, we always have these two choices – progress or perfection.
And while perfection is a noble goal to strive for, oftentimes you’re better off just focusing on progress, especially when you’re first starting out.
Where instead of constantly going “It’s not perfect yet,” you go, “Okay. What wins can I achieve today to start building myself up?“
Maybe for you it’s a post on Facebook where you talk about something personal. Or doing a Facebook Live. That could be a huge win for you.
It’s about giving ourselves credit for every small step we take towards building ourselves up instead of waiting for perfection, because perfection is a trap.
It’s a trap because you will never be ready.
When you focus on perfection instead of progress, you’ll always come up with excuses about why you’re not moving forward.
So ask yourself right now: “What are some steps I can take today to start moving forward and progress in developing my confidence?”
The Comparison Trap
The biggest mistake that I see with this is that people compare other people’s middles to their beginnings.
I remember a time at my 3-Day Speak With Confidence program, where one of my clients left Day 1 feeling amazing. She was on fire, telling me “Oh Lucas, this is awesome. I’m so excited to be here.”
But on the morning of Day 2, she showed up completely deflated. The fire she had on Day 1 had been snuffed out.
ME (confused): “What’s going on? You look really deflated.“
HER: “Yeah. I showed my husband my day one videos yesterday.“
ME: “Okay, and…? “
HER: “Well, he said that the speakers on TED or when I watch videos online – they’re so much better than me.”
ME: “What? How can you compare your Day 1 in a training room to TED speakers on the big stage? It’s two completely different areas. These people put hundreds, maybe even thousands of hours of practice into developing their skillset and experience to get up to that stage.”
And yet, her husband was telling her, “I see what’s possible out there. I see these people doing that and you should be doing the same.“
These are unrealistic expectations.
Instead of focusing on herself and going:
- How am I getting better every day?
- How am I progressing?
She allowed herself to be compared to some unrealistic standard.
This, is the biggest trap that comes up that holds people back.
Start Supporting Yourself
Ask yourself what can you do to start building yourself up and progressing.
Maybe it’s from:
- Positive self-talk
- Being kinder to yourself
- Giving yourself credit for your achievements
- Giving yourself credit for taking steps regardless of the outcome
- Putting your first YouTube video out, hitting publish and actually making it go public
These are all the wins.
Regardless of the means, progress over perfection is a key area that you need to shift. It’s what will allow you to build your confidence very quickly, because by getting stuck in perfection will only result in disappointment.
On the other hand, when we focus on progress and ask “how can I get better every single day?” – That’s when you rapidly accelerate your journey to become the most confident version of yourself.
Start supporting yourself.
Instead of being your number one worst critic, start becoming your number one fan.
I assure you – if you do this every day (giving yourself credit on how you’re improving every day), you’ll look back one month from now and you’ll be surprised at your own progress.
You’ll be glad you did it.
Peace,
Lucas Mattiello
Level Up living
P.S. Whenever you’re ready… here are 3 ways I can help you speak with confidence:
- Grab a free copy of my 6 Steps To Speak With Confidence guide
It’s the 6-step process I use to take clients from anxious on stage to rock-solid confidence. — Click Here - Join the ‘Art Of Confident Speaking’ and connect with leaders who are improving too
It’s our new Facebook community where smart leaders learn to level up their insight, impact and influence. — Click Here - Join my 3-day ‘Speak With Confidence Program’ and become a Case Study
It’s the fastest way to become a confident communicator… If you’d like to work with me and a small group of highly motivated leaders like yourself… Click Here