August 5

If You Can Understand Ice-Cream Flavours, You Can Understand Confidence

One of the most common fears my clients have when we start working together is they’re entrepreneurs and they want to speak in public, but they’re afraid of being judged by the audience.

Today, I’ll share with you how you can learn to step into your power using an ice-cream analogy.

Temporary Solutions Provide Temporary Relief

In today’s world it’s so easy to get out there, and for people to write troll comments about you on YouTube, on Instagram, on Facebook.

So what happens is they have this desire to share their message in a bigger way, but they’re afraid of being rejected by the audience. They’re afraid of being humiliated, and not being liked by everybody.

And so they stop. They stop themselves from speaking their truth and from sharing their message in a bigger way.

By choosing not to speak their truth, what often happens is they feel a temporary sense of relief, only to have a whole wave of regret that comes crashing in later – regret about the missed opportunity of putting their message out there and how:

  • it would’ve been great for their business
  • it would’ve helped more people and
  • it’s really what they’ve been put on this planet to do

And because of the wrestle between these two (i.e. the temporary sense of relief VS ensuing regret), there’s a big tug of war that happens internally.

Should you go for the relief and deal with the regret? Or go for what you want and risk facing pain?

Here’s a couple of things that might help you with that decision…

What’s Your Flavour?

The first thing to keep in mind is that you need to polarize. And to explain that, allow me to walk you through a metaphorical example.

Here in Vancouver, we have an ice cream shop called La Casa Gelato.

La Casa Gelato

It’s home to over 250 flavors, and as soon as you walk in there, you’re just taken over by this vast array of different types of ice cream.

But even so, there are flavors that stand out immediately – exotic flavors like wasabi mango and chili chocolate that catch your eye.

And then there’s vanilla – which gets overlooked all the time.

The same sort of thing happens when we put ourselves out there – sometimes when people are afraid of being judged by the audience, they show up trying to be vanilla.

They’re operating from a place of fear.

They’re saying, “Who do I have to be, to be liked? Who do I have to be to win over this audience?

And by doing so, they’re losing out on themselves. They lose their power.

Here’s what you should do instead – look at yourself like how you are one of those gelato flavors in that ice cream shop. Think about what makes you unique and stand out.

Then own that. Because the message you want to share is unique. It’s not vanilla. Not everyone is going to like every flavor, and it’s only by being your own unique flavor that you’re going to stand out and attract your ideal clients.

You’ll attract people who are like, “Wow, I’ve never seen that combination before”.

Related article: If you’d to learn more about why you shouldn’t be vanilla, check out my article on 3 Reasons Why You’re Not Attracting Your Ideal Client and How To Deal With Haters.

Don’t Try To Win Everyone Over

Another piece that comes up is people want to win the entire audience over.

And that’s just never going to happen.

Again, everyone has their own preferences, so when they show up trying to win everybody over, what happens is they’re standing there scanning the audience, trying to see who likes them and who doesn’t like them.

And typically what happens is they find someone who doesn’t like them and decide to focus all their attention there, in hopes of winning them back over.

But that’s just a losing proposition because again, you’re losing your power.

So what I would suggest is this technique that’s called the 20-20-60 technique.

Basically what it is, is every time that you speak in public and you share your message, know that:

  • 20% of the audience is going to love you regardless of what you say
  • 20% of the audience is going to hate you regardless of what you say
  • 60% they’re on the fence, they’re undecided. They’re willing to learn more and see, “do I like this person, or do I not?

The 20-20-60 is a very powerful technique – in fact, it’s helped a lot of my clients skyrocket to speak at TEDx or bigger events.

And it can skyrocket your confidence too – just imagine how amazing you’ll feel when you make that mental shift where instead of wanting to be liked by everyone, you just show up and go,

Look, I’m just going to be me. I’m going to speak my authentic truth and I’m going to attract my ideal clients who resonate with that message.

No longer are you going to get shitty clients that aren’t in alignment.

No longer are you going to be forcing yourself to try to win people over.

You’re just going to relax. You’re going to have ease, and you’re just going to be able to be yourself.

I highly recommend you give the 20-20-60 a go. It’ll change your confidence levels when you speak in public.

Everything that you want – whether it’s to get more exposure, get more income, or make a bigger impact in the world – is directly tied to you speaking in public and sharing your message in a bigger way.

Once you can start moving past these fears, you step into your power. You share your message and live the life of your dreams.

If you have any questions you’d like answered, comment below. I’ll be happy to do follow up video to answer any questions you have. I’ll have more content for you soon.


P.S. If you’ve decided you want to live to your true potential and you’d like the fast path to get there, here are 3 ways I can help you speak with confidence:

  1. Grab a free copy of my ‘6 Steps To Speak With Confidence’ guide
    It’s the 6-step process I use to take clients from anxious on stage to rock-solid confidence — Click Here
  2. Join the ‘Art Of Confident Speaking’ and connect with leaders who are improving too
    It’s our new Facebook community where smart leaders learn to level up their insight, impact and influence — Click Here
  3. Join my 3-day ‘Speak With Confidence Program’ and become a Case Study
    It’s the fastest way to become a confident communicator… If you’d like to work with me and a small group of highly motivated leaders like yourself — Click Here


20-20-60, Ice cream flavors, La Casa Gelato, Temporary relief

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